Pursuing Tenderness in Hard Situations
5/23/24
Don't get me wrong, I love my job. However, in my short time as a pediatric nursing assistant on a cancer unit, I've come face to face with other people's pain. This covers everything from physical to emotional agony. It's not normal for human beings to endure suffering of this magnitude, let alone a child. I see kids alone without a parent to comfort them in their most vulnerable moments. Sometimes, it's so shocking I can't help but remain rooted to the floor, unable to move. I feel gutted to my core.
Sometimes, internally, I can feel myself stiffen as my heart summer salts in my chest. Yet another layer of insulation is added to my heart as I try to comfort my patient. I leave the patient's room wondering if I'm meant for this. Whether I know it or not, the enemy has just sown a seed of doubt in me. I now have a choice to uproot it or let it grow.
Suddenly, Jesus, the Good Shepherd, says, "Naomi, look at me, not at all the hurt." All my fear melts away when I hear Him say my name. He quickly reminded me why I said "yes" to this career. This nursing degree has been four years in the making. Yep, you heard that right! Four beautiful yet challenging years where I've encountered Him countless times. I would not trade these past four years for a shorter path. I have nothing to prove because I am already accepted. I thank God for the opportunity to live at His pace, not my own. I am so grateful for His steadiness. His leadership works all things together for my good. I am content with the place, time, and season He's planted me.
On my way to work, Jesus often causes me to recall that it is a privilege to be His hands and feet to these children. I remember thinking so clearly that I cannot give what I do not have. On my own, I can only offer what fragmented compassion I have left. Oh, what a tragedy it would be if I woke up years from now, emptied of my empathy and compassion. The cry of my heart is to remain tender. To meet other's pain with the comfort God has given me.
I think of Jesus. Our humble king who chose to take on flesh and enter our painfully broken world. Emmanuel. Our God is with us, walking, talking, and breathing the same air we now inhale and exhale. Jesus lived during a time when his people lived under the oppression of Romans. He saw the stark realities of the people on this earth. Yet in this, He remained tender. Jesus did this by staying in constant connection to His Father. He retreated to be with His Abba because He knew it was necessary.
We have the same Heavenly Father. Who so richly supplies everything we need before we ever ask. As the song says, "Oh for grace to trust Him more." Our hope is not in what we can offer but what God can do. When faced with someone else's painful situation, ask Jesus, "How can I be your hands and feet today?" I guarantee He is more than able to give you heaven's perspective and your next step.
disclaimer: photo was obtained off the internet
and not a depiction of an actual patient.
5/6/24
It’s springtime here in Kansas City! The color green seems to be exploding all around me. After the bleakness of winter, this is a change welcomed by many. God encounters us in funny ways, and recently, for me, it’s been through the color green. I catch glimpses of it outside my bedroom window or while walking my dog with my mom. I drive under canopies of green foliage while driving to my college campus. I am constantly surrounded by it. I’m immediately comforted because the color green reminds me of Psalm 23. Here is a theme in this passage that stands out to me:
We lack nothing because of our proximity to the Shepherd.
About two years ago, I remember reading the first line of Psalm 23, which says, “The LORD is my shepherd; I lack nothing.”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I stared at the words for a second. A bit of backstory: I’d been dealing with chronic migraines for a year and a half due to an accident I was in. During this particular semester of college, I was experiencing a crazy level of physical pain. Anyway, back to my story, the phrase “I lack nothing” jumped out. It was a hard fact to reconcile in my mind at the time because of the circumstances I found myself in. So naturally, I wrestled with it. Moments later, Jesus whispered, “If you have me, you have everything you need.” More tears flowed. Truth began to wash over me. I was still in pain, but I felt joy welling up in my heart. Joy that couldn’t be taken away because it was found in Him. I felt content because I was in the presence of my friend and leader — the One who is the Good Shepherd. The One who is consistent and who does not do His job halfway.
His leadership has been good over the years. I can say without hesitation it’s better than good; it’s perfect. He knows best how to guide us through whatever we’re facing, whether it be something exciting or daunting. Suddenly, the valleys are less intimidating because He is right there walking with us. God’s love is not stagnant. So there is no need to worry, we’re in good hands!